First of all I have to apologize for not blogging in a while. I have to say I was sooo much better at this when I first got to country and had a working camera, I really enjoyed posting my pictures instead of writing, but today I think I will let out some words for my personal sanity, and for the sake of blogging'.
Well I have been in country almost 2 years to the date, and there's also a lot that has been going on. First of all i am almost done with my service, which is a blessing and also sad because I will have to leave this place soon, and I have become very used to this place. I wake up every morning and I think to my self that I can not take for granted every little experience of this place while I am still here. For example, usually when I wake up in the Morning I open the door to my house and step outside in my front patio, and it is cold here at 6:00am but the sight that i get when I look up and see those majestic hills in front of me (Cerro Pache) and I smell the morning mist, or smell of lena burning from the neighbors cooking breakfast. I watch the sun rise as it clears the mist and the day gets warmer. Feed my dog Ziki Ziki after he happily greets me and let him outside to go do his necessities. Everyday that passes makes me think of how much I will miss these little experiences when I am gone. And I know my life will never be the same. Maybe I will find my self trying to duplicate these experiences in some way in the future.
I have exactly 3 1/2 months still here, one of the months which I will actually be spending in my site and two and a half which I will be spending in and out of my site going to meetings and other compromises.
I have started to give much thought to what my future will be during this past month. But at this moment everything is still up in the air. I have been studying for my GRE's which I will be taking here at the end of May. I've also begun to apply to jobs via the internet in the U.S. My plans are not to go back straight to the US when i COS, I have to visit my family in Colombia and i plan on staying there for at least 3 months if all goes to plan. The plan is to leave from here and backpack through central America until arriving to Colombia. The trip will be made with Zack, another volunteer who will be COS'ing from my group, but at this moment Zack is having some health problems and he says if his cough continues he will not be able to go with me, C'mon Zack, get well my dude!
Lately I've been keeping busy with my art. I cant believe I was capable of such talent. I have managed to paint at least four murals since last Oct. and I still have one at the Local health center I have to finish by April.
I don't know what will be harder, leaving the states to serve in Peace Corps Guatemala, or leaving Guatemala post Peace Corps. I think at this moment the latter. Really, I have been having a really hard time thinking about going back, anxious about falling into the same routine, lifestyle i had before I left. Returning to friends that have settled, have children, are married, or just going back to working the boring 9-5. I get scared just thinking about it. What I really want to do is continue to travel, expand my knowledge of different places and hopefully get paid for doing it. At times I find myself feeling guilty for wanting broaden my horizons. I feel guilty for leaving my ex and my family behind, and I feel selfish, can't call it if these feelings of wanting to explore are good or bad, really, I feel I have no one to talk about this. I've realized from my time here that i am different, I don't follow the norm, and I don't think I will ever. Am I lost, or am I becoming enlightened? can't tell. wish I had someone to guide me through this but I don't.
Well, what i do know is that in my journey of life at this moment I have started to clear a path for my next destination. Two of the jobs I applied for were to work as a recruiter with the Peace Corps in DC and NY. I like the peace Corps and I would mind making a career out of it. Let's see what happens...
Here are some Random Pics.
The ladies and children are from my town, two on top are from a women's day march I participated in with my site mate Phil.
Then there's an HIV Mural I am working on at the local health center with three of my students.
The dog is Ziki Ziki, my best friend and protector here in Guatemala.
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